La Solitude

Thoughts and moments in the cold.

倾世皇妃 * 杂记 October 11, 2011

Filed under: 常在我心 — winterbreeze23 @ 3:49 pm
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存在,因爱而变得有意义,也因爱而变得渺小。人真的是很奇怪的一种动物,脆弱的身躯及一世的存在都无法负荷的那些浩大的情感。

有些没有原则地沉浸在倾世皇妃里。虽然有些细节有失完美,但是真的还是好喜欢。=) 林心如真的诠释出那种感觉。智慧,眼里却依然是清澈和顽劣。

祈佑是那样冷漠的一个人。但就因为这样才让他的柔软变得如此珍贵与甜蜜。他对馥雅的好就像一种笨拙的保护,甜蜜,又苦涩。

看着皇后鞭笞祈佑的场景真的让人觉得好心痛。是因为这么深的爱,才会有这么深的心痛,这么深的伤痕,这么深的恨。与世上最亲密的人的对峙,永远无法冷下心肠,也永远无法抹去那些伤疤。

原本还天真地捂住,不让自己看spoiler 的剧情介绍,但还是瞄到了那最好一行。祈佑和连城都为保护馥雅战死沙场,馥雅亦追随祈佑而去,投崖而亡。虽然知道只是虚构,心里还是震撼无比。那样的爱情,像开在大漠中的花朵,那样盛大,美丽,决绝。为爱而活,应该是很美好的吧。那种不顾一切,是心中有求,有牵挂的人望而不及的。存在,因爱而变得有意义,也因爱而变得渺小。人真的是很奇怪的一种动物,脆弱的身躯及一世的存在都无法负荷的那些浩大的情感。

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昨天考完后,学校给我们介绍了明年的很多课程。越听,只觉得心情越沉重。我一直都坚持,不管是对自己或是对别人,我不在乎第一名的头衔。或者都不是第一名,只是在群体中优秀一点。或许我确实不在乎,却无法放下那些骄傲。不是对别人的傲气,只是对自己的信心。平庸,对我,越来越近,渐渐化成属于我的一部分,化成淡淡的自卑。只需丁点的言语或事故,就令我变得很脆弱。可是不甘心就要努力啊,我这么是做什么呢。

还有妈妈的那些期望,和我的平庸,要我如何负荷。

 

Donghae October 8, 2011

Filed under: 常在我心 — winterbreeze23 @ 3:12 pm
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Donghae shall be my first post. =)

 

It was because of this moment, that I started on everything about super junior, about Kpop. It is a craze that I myself can’t explain. I hate to call it a craze, or a phase of my life, for I hope that this feeling is immortal. I don’t know. But I’m already unsure now. The longing is just too distant to be true.

 

I don’t know how much time I have spent on YouTube, going through every related video of him.

 

Yes, he is handsome. His deep and sparkling eyes trained on the camera are just so mesmerising. What draws me deeper is his airs. His taciturn and detached presence. It seems so familiar to me. I do that too. Finding a place for myself in a circle of strange voices and faces. It may all seem shallow, even to myself. But I don’t wish to deny this superficial feeling. Sometimes, I do think I am pathetic.

 

Donghae really lights up my day. He is someone whom my thoughts could go to. I watch his dances to just to find myself smiling foolishly. I don’t know if he is forever the Donghae, but I’ll always keep him in my heart. I know it’s ludicrous, and probably shameless, but that’s the least I could do.

 

 

 

La Solitude

Filed under: Uncategorized — winterbreeze23 @ 1:31 pm

 

La solitude is probably quite cliche, especially to be used by a teenager. But, with this blog, I just want to write every thought of my own, without any vestiges of the past and my world. So, it’s my own sphere and my own journey.

 

I am always on my own. I can be so intimate with my mother, so crazy with my friends. But I have always kept the silence and distance. I have my own world, of all those exhilarations, beauties, guilt and tears. I haven’t been truthful even in my diary. And not quite possibly on facebook. So, in the midst of the end of year exams, I am crazy enough to start a blog.